Trauma

EMDR To Reduce Post-Divorce Conflict

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emdrMarital conflict, separation, dissolution and court proceedings can be stressful and even traumatic.  The arguments, verbal attacks, grief and feelings of loss or betrayal can be devastating. The result of that trauma, if not resolved, is often anxiety, overt stress, and resistance to interactions with one’s former spouse that trigger extreme anxiety and defensiveness.  When there are children involved, interacting with one’s ex is necessary, but can be the source of ongoing feelings of traumatization, stress and anxiety, in turn creating more conflict, further escalating the negative feelings.  None of these feelings and behaviors are conducive to productive co-parenting or communication, not to mention personal health and wellbeing.  However, EMDR can help.

 

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is a well researched and established technique that combines imagery, mindfulness, and cognitive techniques to meet the client’s treatment needs.  EMDR therapy is often used in trauma counseling, the treatment of anxiety, and in the treatment of a number of other issues.   The process of doing EMDR involves focus on a traumatic or disturbing memory while doing back and forth eye movements, listening to alternating tones, and/or feeling alternating vibrations in your hands.  This process enables the brain to resolve emotional trauma and gain insight into the circumstance in a way that is often more effective than traditional talk therapy.

What can EMDR mean for someone struggling with divorce or post-divorce conflict?

  • It can help to facilitate trauma processing.
  • It can reduce undesirable feelings and responses to the triggers of the anxiety.
  • It can help to improve one’s ability to maintain a more rational, productive and un-emotional mindset when interacting with their former partner.
  • It can help to reduce anxiety.
  • It can help to improve an overall sense of well-being.

In a nutshell, the trauma and bad feelings resulting from divorce can fuel conflict and ongoing resentment.  By treating the trauma with EMDR, there is tremendous potential to change the dynamic of the interactions between former partners, and to reclaim a life of peace and dignity following divorce.

Tamra Hughes, MA, LPC  http://www.thcounseling.com

Peaceful tip for regulating stress

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Relaxing on the beach

How I love to think about the beach.  Whether it is in the middle of a Colorado winter, or the middle of the summer, I find great peace thinking of the rolling waves, gentle breezes, salty aroma, and warm sand of a beach.  Many therapists refer to this as a safe place, but  I prefer to think of it as a peaceful place.  Either way, it’s a wonderful reprieve during a stressful time in life.  I often tell clients who are struggling with anxiety, stress or trauma to think of their peaceful place when they have an onset of anxious or stressful symptoms.  I tell them to imagine the sights and sounds, smells and feelings of their place.  I encourage them to breathe deeply, enjoy the sights and sounds, relax and spend a few minutes there. Doing so can lower heart rate, decrease cortisol levels and increase endorphins, all of which improve the way one feels.  As I consider my next vacation- literally or figuratively, I invite you to consider yours.  Where is your peaceful place?

 

Tamra Hughes, MA, LPC  http://www.thcounseling.com

Following the tragic events of the Movie Theater shooting, and other horrific events over the last decade or two, it is frequently difficult for individuals to cope with the feelings and anxiety that are elicited by those tragedies.  Regardless of whether you were witness to the scene, knew someone who was a victim of, or witness to, the tragedy, or if you are just hearing about it from friends or media, it is shocking and difficult to understand.

Symptoms of trauma can include nightmares, depression, anxiety and panic, feelings of insecurity or disbelief that such a tragedy could have happened.  Being aware of how you feel is the first step to taking care of yourself in such an aftermath.  There are also other things to keep in mind when trying to cope in the face of such a devastating story:

  1. Remember that feelings of shock and confusion are normal in the aftermath of a very abnormal and tragic event.
  2. Talk to people about your feelings.
  3. Spend time with the people you are close to and love.
  4. Involve yourself in activities you enjoy.
  5. Nurture yourself.
  6. Exercise.  This releases endorphins which are helpful in the healing process.
  7. Give yourself time to heal.

If you find yourself in a position where your symptoms are not improving, or you don’t have anyone with whom to talk about your emotions, it is good to seek support or counseling to help you to recover from the shock.  There is help available for processing something as difficult to understand as these unthinkable human tragedies.

Tamra Hughes, MA, LPC  http://www.thcounseling.com